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| It's funny how things that didn't bother you when you were younger leave you gasping now. In our innocent minds, I don't think horrific ideas every really pass the gates of understanding. Someone can say 300 people died, but what does 300 mean if you have no concept of one?
Nuit et Brouillard, a film I watched for French class, crashed through the gates and left in its wake a sobbing mess of all-to-sudden comprehension. It was, in a word, scarring.
It shouldn't have affected me that way. When it comes to World War II, I've seen more documentaries, read more books, gone to more museums, and done more projects than I'd care to count.
But, really, really I've never connected the dots. Never drew back from the sheer horror of it.
And then this came along.
Don't watch this if you please. In beautiful, poetic French with triumphant music playing behind the most perverse, disturbing scenes of human cruelty you've ever scene. It's not a good idea. Unless you want to consider God a bit.
...
I need a hug.
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| I am altogether much too likely to want to please, to slide away, to smile and giggle nervously.
to never give a straight opinion,
to never defend my case,
to act as if all your words could be my own, because I just agree with you that much,
to seem only half as intelligent as I truly am
to not even flinch when you throw abuse my way
to never say a word when you literally or figuratively step on me.
But,
to be fair,
I can
leave a pleasant impression,
create joy,
get people to smile at me,
use the brain I have (be it apparent to others or not),
work hard when such is truly called for,
hold well to my convictions,
and be happy just to have you there to talk to me.
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| I'm feeling happy with my little self. Hmm. Happy!
I guess it's for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that I got a perfect score on the SAT's. Yep. Perfect. That's a 2400. Wait, let me rephrase that.
 2400!!
If any of you read my brother's posts then you would already know that, but all the same! At first all I could say is, "What the, what the, what the, oh my, what the?!?!" because I'm trying not to swear. It's hard, let me tell you.
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Okay, so I'm going to move on, because I honestly don't want to sound pretentious. (Too late?)
I want you all to know that I am very close to finishing the school year. The amount of relief I feel at this moment is close to being too hard to explain. Maybe, just maybe, I can have a life again! Please? Except my summer plans include working 37.5 hours a week as an intern at AstraZeneca. hmm...
No life for Alexia?
la la la
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| Less than 3 hours and counting!
I made this post a day early (my bithday's on the fifteenth) because I don't know what to do for my birthday!! My parents and my brothers keep asking, "Alexia, what do you want for your birthday?" or "Alexia, what do you want to do for your birthday?" And the truth is that I have no idea.
This chance comes once a year! What do most people do on their birthdays? I seriously can't think of anything.
Suggestions anyone?
~Alexia | | |
| Oh my god.
I feel as though my will to live has been sucked out of my body. With only five and a half hours of sleep, I had to babysit today for eight hours. EIGHT HOURS. And these weren't calm, happy children. No, these were deranged, japanese-speaking monsters from the depths of hell. How can such small beings yell for so long?! And how can they all be so hyper?! I've babysat each of these children before, but they've never been so insanely violent! At one point they all ganged up on Sunhyun, and started hitting him inappropriately. And the five-year-old, the innocent-looking little girl, started whacking me as hard as she could with a bat! Well, the bit with Sunhyun was kind of funny.
The strange part is that they all love coming over to my house to be babysat... But I should explain myself.
There are two korean leaders living at my church and both have japanese wives. The actual reverand of our church, Rev. Park, has three children: Pom-jin (boy, 9 or 10), Pom-su (boy, 6 or 7), and Wong-yung (girl, 5). The other korean leader, Rev. Jong, has two sweet, well-behaved, respectful children: Hae-yung (girl, 11), and Dong-hui (boy, 7 or 8). Last summer, I occasionally babysat the Jong kids. They liked to play, but they were pretty quiet and well-behaved. When the Parks came (recently-ish), they asked if over the summer I could babysit their children sometimes. I said yes. They are so hyper and have so little attention for anything. They had so much fun coming over to my house eating popsicles, ice cream, and candy (all sugar-free); playing HALO, Sonic Adventure, and Fable on the X-box (Roderick started it); watching all sorts of fun, family-friendly movies (like Finding Nemo); and running around the house being chased by Sunhyun the cannibal. When Dong-hui heard about all this, he begged his mom to let me babysit him with the other kids. He begged for literally months. And finally last night she asked if today when I babysat the Parks, if he could come too. I said yes. I actually heard Dong-hui over the phone crying and saying, "I wanna eat ice cream and play and watch movies too!!" My family is such a good influence on those children.
Anyway, they were crazy little animals and only Dong-hui speaks English, and he actually wasn't so bad. As for the other children... I don't think I've ever longed to hear the doorbell that badly.
~Alexia
p.s. Yesterday, I had chlorine poisoning on my face from an overly-chlorinated pool. It was so red and burny. ouch : ( | | |
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